Top Jokes Blog

Once upon a time there was a Prince who, through no fault of his own was cast under a spell by an evil witch. The curse was that the Prince could speak only one word each year. However, he could save up the words so that if he did not speak for a whole year, then the following year he was allowed to speak two words. (This was before the time of letter writing or sign language…No further questions!!) One day he met a beautiful princess (ruby lips, golden hair, sapphire eyes,) and fell madly in love. With the greatest difficulty he decided to refrain from speaking for two whole years so that he could look at her and say "my darling". but at the end of the two years he wished to tell her that he loved her. Because of this, he waited three more years without speaking (bringing the total number of silent years to 5). But at the end of these five years, he realized that he had to ask her to marry him. So he waited ANOTHER four years without speaking. Finally, as the ninth year of s...

"I think I may need a bathroom break. Is this possible?" --in a note to to Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice during a U.N. Security Council meeting, September 14, 2005 (caught by TV cameras) . 1) "You work three jobs? … Uniquely American, isn't it? I mean, that is fantastic that you're doing that." --to a divorced mother of three, Omaha, Nebraska, Feb. 4, 2005 2) See, in my line of work you got to keep repeating things over and over and over again for the truth to sink in, to kind of catapult the propaganda." --Greece, N.Y., May 24, 2005 3) "It's in our country's interests to find those who would do harm to us and get them out of harm's way." 4) "I'm looking forward to a good night's sleep on the soil of a friend." —On the prospect of visiting Denmark. 5) "But Iraq has—have got people there that are willing to kill, and they're hard-nosed killers. And we will work with the Iraqis to secure their future....

SHE : I'm a photographer I've been looking for a face like yours! HE: I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking for a face like yours!! SHE : May I have the pleasure of this dance? HE: No, I'd like to have some pleasure too!!! SHE: How did you get to be so beautiful? HE: I must have been given your share!!! SHE: Will you come out with me this Saturday? HE: Sorry! I'm having a headache this weekend!!! SHE: Go on, don't be shy. Ask me out! HE: Okay, get out!!! SHE: I think I could make you very happy HE: Why? Are you leaving? SHE: What would you say if I asked u to marry me? HE: Nothing. I can't talk and laugh at the same time!!! SHE: Can I have your name? HE: Why, don't you already have one? SHE: Shall we go and see a film? HE: I've already seen it!!! SHE: Do you think it was fate that brought us together? HE: Nah, it was plain bad luck!!! SHE: Where have you been all my life? HE: Hiding from you. SHE: Haven't I seen you some place before? HE: ...