Top Jokes Blog

A vampire bat came flapping in from the night covered in fresh blood and parked himself on the roof of the cave to get some sleep. Pretty soon all the other bats smelled the blood and began hassling him about where he got it. He told them to go away and let him get some sleep but they persisted until finally he gave in. "OK, follow me" he said and flew out of the cave with hundreds of bats behind him. Down through the valley they went, across a river and into a forest full of trees. Finally he slowed down and all the other bats excitedly milled around him. "Now, do you see that tree over there?" he asked. "Yes, Yes, Yes!" the bats all screamed in a frenzy. "Good" said the bat, "Because I sure as hell didn't!"

WHAT IS AN ARJUN SINGH SALE? Answer: 49.5% off. WHICH IS ARJUN SINGH'S FAVOURITE CITY? Answer: Kota WHY DOESN'T ARJUN SINGH HAVE TOO MANY FRIENDS? Answer: Because he's 'reserved' by nature. WHY DID ARJUN SINGH LEARN ARABIC? Answer: So that he could read 'backwards'. ARJUN SINGH WAS MADE THE LAW MINISTER. HE ZAPPED EVERYONE BY CREATING ANOTHER SUPREME COURT. HE CALLED IT THE SUPREME TRIBUNAL. WHAT WAS HIS LOGIC? Answer: For every SC, there should be an ST. IF ARJUN SINGH WERE TO MAKE A CAREER IN FILMS, WHICH JOB WOULD HE OPT FOR? Answer: Choosing the caste. IF ARJUN SINGH OWNED A MOVIE THEATER, WHAT WOULD THE BALCONY BE CALLED? Answer: Backward Class IF ARJUN SINGH WERE A HISTORIAN, HOW WOULD HE DIVIDE TIME? Answer: AD, BC & OBC Visit The Indian Quota Blog: http://the-indian-quota.blogspot.com

A local United Way office realized that the organization had never received a donation from the town's most successful lawyer. The person in charge of contributions called him to persuade him to contribute. "Our research shows that out of a yearly income of at least $500,000, you give not a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give back to the community in some way?" The lawyer mulled this over for a moment and replied, "First, did your research also show that my mother is dying after a long illness, and has medical bills that are several times her annual income?" Embarrassed, the United Way rep mumbled, "Um ... no." The lawyer interrupts, "or that my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair?" The stricken United Way rep began to stammer out an apology, but was interrupted again. "or that my sister's husband died in a traffic accident," the lawyer's voice rising in indignation, "leaving h

A doctor and a lawyer were talking at a party. Their conversation was constantly interrupted by people describing their ailments and asking the doctor for free medical advice. After an hour of this, the exasperated doctor asked the lawyer, "What do you do to stop people from asking you for legal advice when you're out of the office?" "I give it to them," replied the lawyer, "and then I send them a bill." The doctor was shocked, but agreed to give it a try. The next day, still feeling slightly guilty, the doctor prepared the bills. When he went to place them in his mailbox, he found a bill from the lawyer.

Once two men sat in a bar drinking. The first one said to the other ,"I have a hell lot of family problems." The second one said ,"I'll tell you mine. I married a widow having a young daughter. My father married my daughter and so my father became my son-in-law and I became my father's father-in-law. My daughter is my mother and my wife my grandmother. More problems occurred when I had a son. My son is my father's brother and so he's my uncle. Situations turned worse when my father had a son. Now my father's son i.e. my brother is >my grandson. Ultimately, I have become my own grand father and I am my own grandson. And you say you have family problems !! ".

Hi all, I found this wonderful joke, thought might give you a laugh. An English teacher was explaining to his students the concept of gender association in the English language. He stated how hurricanes at one time were given feminine names and how ships and planes were usually referred to as "she". One of the students raised their hand and asked - "What gender is a computer"? The teacher wasn't certain which it was, so he divided the class into two groups, males in one, females in the other, and asked them to decide if a computer should be masculine or feminine. Both groups were asked to give four reasons for their recommendation. The group of women concluded that computers should be referred to in the masculine gender because: 1. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on. 2. They have a lot of data but are still clueless. 3. They are supposed to help you solve your problems, but half the time they ARE the problem. 4. As soon as you commit to on

The Brain Teasers: 1. Some months have 30 days, some have 31; how many months have 28 days? 2. A man gave one son 10 cents and another son was given 15 cents. What time is it? 3. If you had only one match and entered a room in which there was a kerosene lamp, an oil heater, and a woodburning stove, which would you light first? 4. There is a house with four walls. Each wall faces south. There is a window in each wall. A bear walks by one of the windows. What color is the bear? 5. Is half of two plus two equal to two or three? 6. Do they have a 4th of July in England? 7. How many animals of each species did Moses take aboard the Ark with him? 8. How far can a dog run into the woods? 9. What is the significance of the following: The year is 1978, thirty-four minutes past noon on May 6th. 10. Divide 30 by 1/2 and add ten. What is the answer? 11. If a farmer has 5 haystacks in one field and 4 haystacks in the other field, how many haystacks would he have if he combined them all in the cente

Now, here are some classic English sentences from the great Lecturer Mr. Jeppiar , who owns the number 1 engineering college in TN. The stalwart talks to his students: # At the ground: All of you stand in a straight circle. There is no wind in the balloon.. The girl with the mirror please comes her...{Means: girl with specs please come here). # To a boy, angrily: I talk, he talk, why you middle middle talk? # While punishing students: You, rotate the ground four times... You, go and understand the tree... You three of you stand together separately. Why are you late - say YES or NO .....(?) # Sir at his best: Sir had once gone to a film with his wife. By chance, he happened to see onee of our boys at the theatre, though the boy did no t see them. So the next day at s school... (to that boy) - "Yesterday I saw you WITH MY WIFE at the Cinema Theatre" # Sir at his best inside the Class room: Open the doors of the window. Let the atmosphere come in. Open the doors of the window. L

Doctor, please hurry. My son swallowed a razor-blade." "Don't panic, I'm coming immediately. Have you done anything yet ?" "Yea, I shaved with the electric razor." "Doctor, Doctor, You've got to help me - I just can't stop my hands shaking!" "Do you drink a lot?" "Not really - I spill most of it!" "Doctor, doctor, will I be able to play the violin after the operation?" "Yes, of course..." "Great! I never could before!" Man speaks frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only two minutes apart!" "Is this her first child?" the doctor queries. "No, you idiot!" the man shouts. "This is her husband!" Doctor: I have some bad news and some very bad news. Patient: Well, might as well give me the bad news first. Doctor: The lab called with your test results. They said you have 24 hours to live. Patient: 24 HOURS! Thats ter