Top Jokes Blog

A new client had just come in to see a famous lawyer. "Can you tell me how much you charge?", said the client. "Of course", the lawyer replied, "I charge $200 to answer three questions!" "Well that's a bit steep, isn't it?" "Yes it is", said the lawyer, "And what's your third question?"

Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S relativity. -Albert Einstein The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office. - Robert Frost The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it. - Franklin P. Jones We must believe in luck. For how else can we explain the success of those we don't like? -Jean Cocturan It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world everyday always just exactly fits the newspaper. - Jerry Seinfeld It matters not whether you win or lose; what matters is whether I win or lose. - Darrin Weinberg "Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome." Help a man when he is in trouble and he will remember you when he is in trouble again. Complex problems have simple, easy to understand wrong a...

These are from a book called "Disorder in the Court." These are things People actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters - who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place. Q: What is your date of birth? A: July fifteenth. Q: What year? A: Every year. Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up That morning? A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?" Q: And why did that upset you? A: My name is Susan. Q: And where was the location of the accident? A: Approximately milepost 499. Q: And where is milepost 499? A: Probably between milepost 498 and 500. Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning? Q: Were you present when your picture was taken? Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th? A: Yes. Q: And what were you doing at that time? Q: She had three children, right? A: Yes. Q: How man...

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