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I know this is a Jokes Blog but i just read a news article on Drugs and i decided to write something to help our community: There's many teens and adults out there that have a drug abuse problem and don't know where to turn. There is help through drug rehab programs. Across the nation there are drug addiction treatment centers and some have a success rate of over 85%. Drug abuse can affect your personal life and business life as well as many friends around you. It doesn't have to be that way, it starts with accepting the fact that you may have a drug abuse problem, then seek out a rehabilitation program for your substance abuse. Are you addicted to drugs like cocaine, marijuana, hashish, ecstasy, LSD, Crystal meth? Another drug? Stop the pain you are causing yourself, friends and family and seek help today. If you are a family member looking for a drug rehab center , there are many to choose from, some have payment programs and others do not. Signs of Drug Abuse: * r...

We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are "the rules" from the male side. These are "our rules" Please note they are all numbered "1" on PURPOSE! 1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You are a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down. 1. Saturday and Sunday = SPORTS. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. LET IT BE. 1. Shopping is NOT a sport. So we are never going to think of it that way. 1. Crying is blackmail. 1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one – subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it. 1. "Yes" and "No" are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. 1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. 1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is ...

Two guys were on a ship that sank in the middle of the ocean. They managed to inflate a rubber life raft and grab a box of provisions before their ship slipped under the surface. After floating under a blazing heat for six days, they ran out of food and water. On the tenth day, bleary eyed and half dead from heat, thirst and starvation, they spotted a small object floating toward them in the water. As it drew near, they were ecstatic to find that it was an old oil lamp. They grabbed the lamp and rubbed it. Out popped a tired old genie who said, "Okay, I've been doing this 3-wishes stuff for a while now guys, and, quite frankly, I'm burned out. You guys only get one wish and then I'm outta here... so make it a good one." The first guy blurted out, without thinking, "Give us all the beer we can drink for the rest of our lives!" "Fine," said the genie, and the entire ocean was instantly turned into beer. "Great move, Einstein," said the ...

The following is a telephone exchange between a hotel guest and room service, at a hotel in Asia, which was recorded and published in the Far East Economic Review. To get the full effect, this should be read aloud. You will understand what "tenjewberrymuds" means by the end of the conversation. Room Service (RS) : "Morrin, Roon Sirbees." Guest (G) : "Sorry I thought I had dialed room-service." RS : "rye. Roon Sirbees...morrin!Jewsih to oddor sunteen??" G : "uh, yes,...I'd like some bacon and eggs.' RS : Ow july den?" G :"What?" RS :"ow july den?pryed, boyud, poochd?" G :"Oh, the eggs! How do I like them?sorry. scrambled, please" RS :"ow july dee baykem?crease?" G :"crisp will be fine." RS :"Hokay. An sahn toes?" G :"what?." Rs :"an toes. July sahn toes?." G :"no, I don't think so." Rs :"no, judo wan sahn toes??." G :"I fe...