Top Jokes Blog

I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste. David Bissonette When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. Sacha Guitry After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together. Hemant Joshi By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. Socrates Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them. Dumas The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman want? Sigmund Freud I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me. Anonymous "Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays." Henry Youngman "I don't w...

For all the football fans out here... A man had two great tickets for the World Cup Final. As he sits down, another man comes down and asks if anyone is sitting in the seat next to him. "No," he says. "The seat is empty." "This is incredible!" said the man. "Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the best game of World Cup, and not use it?" He says, "Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. My wife was supposed to come with me, but she passed away. This is the first World Cup Final we haven't been to together since we got married." "Oh I'm sorry to hear that. That's terrible. But couldn't you find someone else... a friend or relative, or even a neighbor to take the seat?" The man shakes his head... "No. They're all at her funeral."

1. Regular naps prevent old age... especially if you take them while driving. 2. Having one child makes you a parent; having two makes you a referee. 3. Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband! 4. They said we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried- but they wanted cash. 5. A child's greatest period of growth is the month after you've purchased new school uniforms. 6. Don't feel bad. A lot of people have no talent. 7. Don't marry the person you want to live with, marry the one you cannot live without... but whatever you do, you'll regret it later. 8. You can't buy love. . But you pay heavily for it. 9. True friends stab you in the front. 10. Forgiveness is giving up my right to hate you for hurting me. 11. Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote. 12. Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired. 13. My wife and I always compromise. I admit I'm wrong and sh...