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Some Funny but True Definitions

Cigarette: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool on the other.


Etc.: A sign to make others believe,you know more than you actually do.


Love affairs: Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five day test..


Marriage: It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor's degree and a woman gains her master's.


Classic: A book which people praise, but do not read.


Diplomat: A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.


Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after.


Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.


Ecstasy: A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feelingyou have never felt before.


Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.


Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on.


Dictionary: A place where divorce comes before marriage ..


Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water-power .


Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody beleives he got the biggest piece


Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present...


Opportunists: One who starts having a bath when he/she accidently falls in a river ...


Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either".


College: A place where some pursue learning and others learn pursuing.


Pessimist: A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY


Miser: A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.


Optimist: A person who while falling from Eiffel tower says in midway "See I am not injured yet"


Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.


Divorce: Future tense of marriage.
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