Top Jokes Blog

My four-year-old daughter and I were taking a walk when she picked up something off the ground and started to put it in her mouth. I asked her not to and she asked me "Why?" "Because, Honey, it's been laying outside on the ground and is dirty and has germs on it." She looked at me in amazement and asked, "Wow, how do you know all that stuff?" Thinking quickly, I said, "Because it's on the Mommy Test. You have to know this stuff or you can't be a mommy." She pondered that information for a minute or two, and said, "Oh, I get it! If you flunk you have to be the daddy!"

A woman had 3 girls. One day she decides to test her sons-in-law. She invites the first one for a stroll by the lakeshore, purposely falls in and pretends to be drowning. Without any hesitation, the son-in-law jumps in and saves her. The next morning, he finds a brand new Toyota car in his driveway with this message on the windshield. "Thank you! Your mother-in-law who loves you! A few days later, the lady does the same thing with the second son-in-law. He jumps in the water and saves her also. She offers him a new Honda car with the same message on the windshield. Thank you! Your mother-in-law who loves you! A few days later, she does the same thing again with the third son-in-law. While she is drowning, the son-in-law looks at her without moving an inch and thinks: "Finaly! It's about time that this old witch dies! The next morning, he receives a brand new Ferrari car with this message… THANK YOU! Your father-in-law.

So, there once was a millionaire from the middle-east, who was very, very stubborn. He was walking through town with his son, little Bob. They passed a store, and little Bob says:"Daddy, daddy! can I buy one of those hats?" -"No" said the man, "we dont have any money to spend son". So, with a bit of dissapointment, he understood, and they kept on walking. Then, they passed a toy store, and the same thing happened. But little Bob knew that his father loved flying. So when he saw a sign that read:"Airplane Rides", he asked his father. The man hessitated at first, but then he agreed on one condition: If it wasnt too expensive. So they got on the plane, and when they were already airborne, he asked the pilot:"How much is the ride?" -"One thousand dollars" said the pilot. "WHAT?!?!?"-said the man. Alarmed by the man's reaction, the pilot made a deal with the man:"If you or your son stay quiet, not making a sound,...