Top Jokes Blog

Ladies and gentlemen, hobos and tramps, Bug-eyed mosquitoes and bowlegged ants! I'm about to tell you a story I've never heard before, So pull up a chair and sit on the floor. Admission is free, so pay at the door. One fine day, in the middle of the night, two, dead boys got up to fight. Back to back, they faced each other, drew their swords and shot each other. A deaf policeman heard the noise, and saved the lives of the two dead boys. If you don't believe my lies are true, ask the blind man, he saw it too!

Newton’s Method: Let, the lion catch you. For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. Implies you caught lion. Einstein Method: Run in the direction opposite to that of the lion. Due to higher relative velocity, the lion will also run faster and will get tired soon. Now you can trap it easily. Software Engineer Method: Catch a cat and claim that your testing has proven that it’s a Lion. If anyone comes back with issues, tell that you will upgrade it to Lion. George bush method: Link the lion with Osama bin laden and shoot him!!! Rajnikanth Method: Keep warning the lion that u may come and attack anytime. The lion will live in fear and die soon in fear itself. Jayalalitha Method: Send Police commissioner Muthukaruppan around 2AM and kill it, while it's sleeping! Manirathnam Method (director): Make sure the lion does not get sun light and put the lion in a dark room with a single candle lighted. Keep murmuring something in its ears. The lion will be highly irritated and

DORMITORY: When you rearrange the letters: DIRTY ROOM PRESBYTERIAN: When you rearrange the letters: BEST IN PRAYER ASTRONOMER: When you rearrange the letters: MOON STARER DESPERATION: When you rearrange the letters: A ROPE ENDS IT THE EYES: When you rearrange the letters: THEY SEE GEORGE BUSH: When you rearrange the letters: HE BUGS GORE THE MORSE CODE: When you rearrange the letters: HERE COME DOTS SLOT MACHINES: When you rearrange the letters: CASH LOST IN ME ANIMOSITY: When you rearrange the letters: IS NO AMITY ELECTION RESULTS: When you rearrange the letters: LIES - LET'S RECOUNT SNOOZE ALARMS: When you rearrange the letters: ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S A DECIMAL POINT: When you rearrange the letters: IM A DOT IN PLACE THE EARTHQUAKES: When you rearrange the letters: THAT QUEER SHAKE ELEVEN PLUS TWO: When you rearrange the letters: TWELVE PLUS ONE AND FOR THE GRAND FINALE: MOTHER-IN-LAW: When you rearrange the letters: WOMAN HITLER

A motorist was driving down the highway and all of a sudden he hit a parrot. He pulled over, picked the poor parrot who was still alive but unconscious. He decided to take him home. When the motorist got home, he put the parrot in a cage, leaving him some bread and water inside. When the parrot regained consciousness, he looked around and said: . . . . . . "BARS, bread, water...Oh my God!! I have killed the motorist!

Chilling Real story!!! True Horror, which took place last month This happened about a month ago near Lonavala. A guy was driving from Mumbai to Pune and decided not to take the new expressway as he wanted to see the scenery. The inevitable happens and when he reached the ghats his Car breaks down - he's stranded miles from nowhere. Having no choice he started walking on the side of the road, hoping to get a lift to the nearest town. It was dark and raining. And pretty soon he got wet and Shivering. The night rolled on and no car passed by, the rain was heavy he hardly saw a few feet ahead of him. Suddenly he saw a car coming towards him. It slowed and then stops next to him - without thinking the guy opened the door and jumps in. Seated in the back, he leaned forward to thank the person who had saved him. He realizes there is nobody behind the wheel!!! Even though there's no one in the front seat and no sound of any engine, the car starts moving slowly. The guy looks at the r

Teacher to Sardar: Make a sentence in which one word is repeated twice. Student: If Lara Dutta Marries Brian Lara, She will become Lara Lara!

Father : I want you to marry a girl of my choice Son : "I will choose my own bride!" Father: "But the girl is Bill Gates's daughter." Son : "Well, in that case...ok" Next Father approaches Bill Gates. Father: "I have a husband for your daughter." Bill Gates: "But my daughter is too young to marry!" Father: "But this young man is a vice-president of the World Bank." Bill Gates: "Ah, in that case...ok" Finally Father goes to see the president of the World Bank. Father: "I have a young man to be recommended as a vice-president." President: "But I already have more vice- presidents than I need!" Father: "But this young man is Bill Gates's son-in-law." President: "Ah, in that case...ok" This is how business is done!!

* I say no to drugs they just don't listen * A friend in need is a pest indeed. * Marriage is one of the chief causes of divorce. * Work is fine if it doesn't take too much of your time. * When everything comes in your way you're in the wrong lane. * The light at the end of the tunnel may be an incoming train. * Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film. * Life is unsure; always eat your dessert first. * Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking. * If you keep your feet firmly on the ground, you'll have trouble putting on your pants. * It's not hard to meet expenses, they are everywhere. * I love being a writer... what I can't stand is the paperwork. * A printer consists of 3 main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light. * The hardest part of skating is the ice. * My phone number is 17. We got one of the early ones. * The guy who invented the first wheel was an idiot. The guy who invented the other thre